Who Takes Care of You?
Nurturing yourself isn’t selfish. As tired as we are of hearing it, it really is true that we help others better by helping ourselves first. This is easy to recommend, but not so easy to do when demands on us are high and our schedules are full of taking care of others.
A word about motherhood: As someone who has been in the mom trenches for 21 years - many of them in the survival stages of parenting with babies & toddlers, I feel almost like a hypocrite sharing this article with you. In some ways it is like bragging to a quadriplegic about how awesome it feels to swim with dolphins. Or eating a delicious plate of steak and mashed potatoes in front of someone on a 7-day fast. It feels almost cruel.
But please don’t give up! Many of these things can be snuck in - between the cracks of motherhood. You might not have time to take a long, hot bubble bath alone. But you can put on headphones and listen to a 5-minute devotional during a quick bath with epson salts. A trip to the beach with babies is anything but relaxing. But you can turn on a calming youtube video of ocean sounds and beautiful videography while your kids play in the living room. You might not have time to read even two pages of a book (reading makes me fall asleep.) But we all know you do a boatload of laundry and dishes. You can listen to a good book or beautiful music while you work. There are ways to nurture yourself right smack in the middle of all the chaos. I promise. I know it isn’t easy, but the little moments count.
For me, one important first step was asking the question. What nurtures me? From there, I began the process of learning how to fit more health and nurture into my busy life.
Here are some ideas to get your started. But with a word of caution. Do not view this list as a list of more good things you just aren’t getting done. The purpose isn’t to add to your already hefty “should” list. It is an invitation to be gentle with yourself. To pay attention to your own health. To nurture your spirit and mind and body so that you have joy and presence to offer to those you love.
Breathe. Pause several times a day to breathe deeply for one to two full minutes. The outbreath should be slightly stronger than the inbreath.
Get outside
Margin. An over-loaded schedule is a recipe for depression.
Move. Walk, bike, swim, dance, run, mow, hike.
Hot baths. Bonus points if it includes Epsom salts. (Epson salts are magnesium, and magnesium is one of the most powerful nutrients for nerves and relaxation.)
Take supplements. (B-complex are good for nerves. Magnesium helps with calming.)
Sunshine. (increases seratonin) - There is extra benefit if you get sunlight before noon.
Laugh. (Increases endorphins) - Maybe I Love Lucy or Dry Bar Comedy
Talk to a friend. Isolation is different than solitude.
Snuggle. It can be a spouse, a pet, a baby. Physical touch comforts the nervous system.
Receive Empathy. Talk to someone who listens well. CoRegulation is one of the most powerful things ever created.
Dark Chocolate (increases endorphins)
Spicy Food (increases endorphins)
Massages (increase endorphins, seratonin & oxytocin)
Cold Showers (increase seratonin & oxytocin)
Nature. Walk around the block. Go to a park. Sit and look at a tree. Step outside and listen to the crickets. Sit on the porch during the rain. Go hiking. Watch a bird.
Be in or near Water (Some people are especially calmed by the presence of water. Baths, Showers, swimming, fountains, creeks, lakes, waves – even the sound of water from YouTube can be calming for those of us who are nurtured by water.)
Listen to Music (increases oxytocin)
Meditation. (God thought of it first)
Down time. Just sit.
Distraction/Fun. Watch an episode of something you enjoy. Go to a movie. Read a novel. Do something just because you want to.
Connection. Have coffee with a friend or play a game with your kids.
Nourishing food. This is more than “I SHOULD eat more healthy.” This is the feeling you get when you sit down and enjoy delicious food that also makes your body feel nourished. It is the opposite of skipping meals or inhaling a protein bar on the run or mindlessly eating chips. It can be avocado toast instead of skipping breakfast. Or a smoothie for lunch. Or a fancy meal you cooked just because you love it. Or a meal out with a beautiful steak and baked potato. Or taking the time to slice an apple and gather some cheese and olives and crackers for a quick little charceuterie. Slow down and taste it.
Practice Hygge……The art of Cozy!
Create something (increases dopamine & endorphins) - music, art, crafts, painting, sculpture, decorate
Work in the yard. This ticks off several boxes: creating beauty, getting everyone outside, exercise, sunshine. (Sounds like a power habit to me. Makes me wonder why I don’t work in the yard more!!)
Snuggling is good for you!
Do something you love
