Enjoying Motherhood when you feel bored, stuck, overwhelmed or a little depressed

1. Start by paying attention to physical factors. If you have a physical factor weighing you down, you can work your tail off to stay happy and motivated, and your hormones or lack of sleep or need for vitamins or exercise can push you under every time you get your head above water. Start here with a curious mindset and see if you can identify any physical priorities.

   • Sleep? (I have discovered that adequate sleep is the #1 most important thing for my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual well-being.)

   • Hormones? (After I finished having 6 babies in 12 years, I realized that I have a pretty intense emotional crash twice a month. So I supplement hormones to even out those crashes. I have also learned that PMS brings particular and regular

   • Vitamins? (This is not an ad. I do not care what kind of vitamins you take or don’t take. But there are certain vitamins that just make my life better. Period. For me? B-complex and Magnesium are key. But your combination might be different. You may want to talk to a natural health provider or experiment to see if you are deficient in something.)

   • Margin? (if your schedule is too packed, it keeps you in a constant state of stress and makes it hard to be successful and restful.)

   • Exercise? or Outside time? (one of the quickest, surest ways to reset your mindset and create happy chemicals in your brain. And nature is a powerful mood booster. )

   • Seasonal depression or seasonal allergies. Both of these can zap the life out of you. It’s worth considering if you notice a pattern. There are great solutions for both problems.

2. Identify your home basics (mine are dishes & laundry - thank you FlyLady!) Then….Hurry through your basics so you can do something that makes you feel alive!

3. Identify what makes you feel alive. (Somewhere between the positive pregnancy test and the years that follow, we have a tendency to “lose” pieces of ourselves. Sometimes we need to take a minute to rediscover what we love, what we’re good at, what brings us joy and fulfillment. Secret hint: It’s OKAY if you aren’t completely fulfilled through motherhood alone!!)

4. Start figuring out how to nurture things that you love - in little bits (15 minute segments for the win!)

5. In my humble opinion (after 6 kids and 19 and a half years of mothering) the two absolute easiest ways to be an awesome mom is giving your kids lots of reading and outside play time. There are books and articles and podcasts and so much research that proves the value of these two things. You can start here: www.1000hoursoutside.com www.readaloudrevival.com). Audiobooks and parks are like the magic wands of motherhood. Don’t take my word for it - try it!

6. Create flexible rhythm into your days and weeks (using a flexible checklist schedule {example}). And then check off every. single. thing. you accomplish : ) At the very least, it affirms that you get a lot done! When I use my checklist schedule, I flat out get more done.

7. Invest into your future children. You may not be using all of your gifts and leadership abilities. But remember that all of those rich layers inside of you filter onto your children and shape them. Ask yourself what kind of adult children you want (friendly? curious? industrious? disciplined? interesting?) and then think of each mundane, crazy, boring, wild day as another layer in the development of delightful humans.

8. Invest into your future self (save money towards education, nurture deep friendships, read up on a topic, collect resources, fine-tune a skill, listen to podcasts, write down ideas as they come, slowly building something, work on bad habits, develop or strengthen good habits that will help your future success.)

9. Be willing to lower some standards in order to fit in other things. If it makes your heart sing to have everything spotless, or to give your kids zero screen time, or to only cook vegan and organic, go for it! But if you feel like you’re in a never-ending cycle of endlessness, it’s okay to figure out what your “good enough” is in various areas, and to leave some time for doing the things you love!

10. Decide what to not do. I am willing to not keep the house picked up constantly all day, because that is literally all we would get done. I find it more efficient to have check-in times when the straightening needs to be done. Maybe before bed, or before dad gets home, or before leaving for the library.)

BONUS Remember that life comes in groups of years that make up seasons. Recognizing where you are in this time as a season can help with the feeling that life will be one big hamster wheel of dishes and laundry and diapers for the rest of your life. If you are in the toddler season and are finding it draining and hard, remember that another season is coming! This might be the season when you can putter around and focus on making your house a place that you love. You may find another season that offers you the chance to get in lots of exercise while your kids are in sports practices at the park. Another season with lots of commutes or driving could give you the opportunity to listen to lots of great audiobooks or podcasts. Lean into the season you’re in. Does it have some hidden gifts to offer? If not, just hang on for dear life. Another season is coming. I promise. They don’t stay babies forever.