Healing our Attachment to God

Session Notes | GraceStory 2022 | November 4

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1. Introduction

   1. How we want to heal vs how we feel

2. The Parts of Healing

   1. Adult, functioning Self

   2. Rewiring

   3. Wounded Child

   4. Allowing ourselves to feel our wounds can make us feel like a fraud. However, our wise adult self and the work we’ve already done on our story is not “undone” when we deal with our deeper wounding. Sometimes, we wait until #1 and #2 are in place before our wounded child is safe to be seen.

3. Attachment 101

   1. Attachment is our sense of being connected to and emotionally attended to by the most significant people in our lives. It is our automatic framework (programming/expectation)for trust in close relationships.

   2. Attachment videos: 1-yr-old, 4-month-old,

      • “good-enough” parenting

   3. Types of attachment:

      • Secure

      • Dismissive

      • Insecure

      • Fearful

4. Attachment to God (It matters so much because:)

   1. Primary people (caregivers) in our lives

   2. Develops our framework for trust & relationships

   3. Where do we get our attachment to God?

      • Attachment to our caregivers

      • Pictures & Stories of God, hell, etc. (Sermon Illustrations tell us how God reacts to us.)

      • Theology (implied & explicit)

      • Experiences (religious & life)

      • Devaluing Emotions (emotions are dangerous)

      • Personality & Gifting (HSP)

   4. What is My Attachment to God?

      1. How do you feel towards God?

         • Close & Trusting? (Secure)

         • Hopeful but Unsure of His love? (Insecure)

         • Numb & Flat? (Dismissive)

         • Scared & Performance Driven? (Fearful)

5. Repairing attachment to God (5 R’s)

   1. Recognize

      • Silence & Solitude (Relationships need time)

      • Pay attention to yourself & your pain

      • Ask Honest Questions, Be curious about your story

      • Education & Community

      • Books & Podcasts

      • Get Knowledgeable Help

   2. Rewire

      1. Neuroplasticity

      2. You can’t rewire what you aren’t aware of.

      3. Protect Your Input (Theology Matters)

      4. Contempletive Practices (A Buffet of options!)

      5. Feed Truth/Capture Lies (Memorize Scripture)

      6. Breath Prayers

         1. Breath as Prayer (book)

   3. Repair

      1. Wound Healing (as we heal, we grow stronger).

         • Kintsugi

         • Muscles

         • Trees

      2. Picture Replacement

   4. Relationships

      1. Counselor or Coach (Another great place to find a couselor in your area is here. Use the filters to narrow it down. Start by putting in your zip code, then filter to search for what you need: trainings & specialties, Christian, insurance, online, etc.)

         • Spouse

         • Friend

         • Mentor

         • Community

   5. Right Brain Attachment

      1. Creativity, Calm, Courage, Compassion, Curiosity, Connected, Confidence (Clarity)

      2. Follow the spark in yourself to God. (Breadcrumbs) Everything good & beautiful and True within us is a gift to lead us back to God. We have been taught to NOT trust our hearts. But if we are honestly seeking Him, He leads us to himself through our hearts!